Gone fishing

Fishing! Nothing more relaxing in this world, and a perfect cure for the "information overdose disease", we all suffer. You'll find plenty of possibilities to get on a boat for a fishing trip here.
You could try Google for "fishing pattaya" and there you are, or you could just ask some farang in a bar about it. Good chance there is a guy who can tell you all about it (I would say it seems especially popular with farang from Ireland).
Throw away that blackberry, iphone or laptop, stop reading this, and get on a boat!

Where to go when all the other bars are closed?

You could go to Tony's or Lucifer for a late drink, but these dancings are places I personally don't like that much.

Papagayo bar/gogo (soi Diana Inn, near second road) is one of the better places to have a late night drink, until 5 a.m. if you are lucky there are enough customers.

youtube movie here, and link there

Buy that teddy bear for your tilac

It may seem silly for you, but many Thai girls are crazy about it. They love those teddy bears, and you'll have enough choice in Pattaya to buy one, just sit in a bar in soi 7 or 8, and wait. So if you want to make your tilac happy, buying one of those sweeties might be a good start. It will be appreciated much more than anything else.

Does it have to be a big one? Oh yes, they like it big...;-)

How to tell your family you're going to Pattaya?

Many young guys ask me this funny question when back home:
'Shit man! I'm going to Thailand but how do I explain this? Everybody knows about the prostitution down there!'
In my case, I don't have to deny anything, I'm not doing any harm, and most of all, I don't care. But I had these same questions too, when I came to Thailand the first time. I never found the answer though, only the questions vanished.

The most negative reactions come from those who've never been here, or people who don't realize they are prostitutes too: working for a company and a boss they don't like, because they need the money, not selling their body, but selling their mind. That's even worse, but it is an opinion nobody will accept, and to be honest, it doesn't justify anything either.

The answer can be different for anyone, I tend to say: "There is nothing to explain".
But just let me try.

With moms it's easy, they will always deny the picture of their son, completely drunk in a red light zone, having fun with half naked bargirls grabbing his dick. Just tell her about the elephants and temples you've seen. And make sure you really did see at least one elephant or temple.
Take as many pictures as you can to make it look like you've been visiting temples all day long (the Royal Palace in Bangkok is a good place, but there is one near Pattaya too). If she would start asking about bargirls, you just say: "What? Bargirls?"...

It's more difficult to explain your trip to your colleagues. They will confront you immediately with the picture of you, drunk, with the naked bargirls. But they don't know anything. You could try with the elephants and the temple pictures, but it won't help. So, why not just answer:
"I go to Pattaya for the booze and the sex. And I like it. Any other questions?"

X-Zone

One of the better agogo places recently is X-Zone.
Wanna try something nice and different?
Then you should definitely try the ST room in the back. You will know what I mean, when you are there... :-)

Ice Bar, if you need to cool down...

If you are trying to get drunk in no time, the Ice bar could be something for you. Specials like "Vodka, all you can drink in 20 minutes" for 500 baht, might be a good medicine if you just had some troubles with your tilac, the cold will cool your anger...;-)

pattaya pattayaaaaaaaaaa

Lou Depryck is a nice French speaking Belgian musician/producer who decided to retire in Pattaya and still enjoys life to the max. He got here after an accident in Brazil where he fell from his balcony.

Maybe you've been talking with him lately, without knowing, as he speaks English pretty good.
His Hollywood Bananas date from the 70s when he had a few little hits, and as a producer when he had written this well known Plastic Bertrand - Ca plane pour moit song, covered in many different ways.
He also got a great success with Two man sound, just have a look at this old, but exotic movie.

If you retire you have to stay active he must have thought, and he did. You might have heard that FLB bar Pattaya Pattayaaaa song, but you don't know the origin?

PS Lou is bluffing he is still very active with his other banana these days, and I believe it's true... ;-)

The new Walking Street sign...

This is the real Thai way to handle things...;-)

The old sign in Walking street had some problems. Instead of arranging a quick reparation, or let it be until a new sign would be ready, they took it away.
Probably the plan was to replace it quickly with a new one. But it didn't come. After a few months still nothing.
Some said they had some budget problems, others blamed it on the new elections.

Anyway, they started working again, installed something half completed, and... stop working again.

Finally, the sign was ready last week. And out of order the day after...:-)

Do you miss your family?

The rather new (second) Family Bar is definitely worth a try (Soi 8, near Eastiny Hotel).

Before you quit, the second half of this video is the best...;-)

Soi 2, Pattaya North

One of the better bars in soi 2 in my opinion is Honey Pot, from the same owners as the Classroom agogo

You can't miss the Honey Pot, coming from second road it is on the right side, after the Classroom. And as you can see in this little movie, it looks a little bit like a fish bowl.
There are some nice fish recently...

Advertising, Pattaya style

Pattaya, the city where the word "shame" doesn't exist.

This is how a laboratory generally looks like in Pattaya. The important things here are in big capitals: the availability of Viagra, HIV tests, ... (the only thing I'm missing in this picture are ANABOLIC STEROIDS and BOTOX, because those are pretty popular too).

There is an advantage when you visit a doctor in Pattaya. You don't have to be ashamed to tell the doctor there is something wrong with your...willy. He or she knows.

In other places the doctor his first question might be: "What did you eat yesterday?". After a few other harmless questions they might ask you carefully about your sexual encounters and possible risks. Ooops! Do I really have to tell the details about what happened?

But in Pattaya, questions will come in the opposite order and a little bit more direct.

Well, in fact, the Pattaya doctor won't even ask you this type of question, because he will suppose you DID have anal sex with a ladyboy last night, and a soapy with some condomless oral actions the day before. The Listerine probably didn't help.
The first words might be: "okay, take off your pants, sir"...

What a relief, isn't it? You don't even have to tell him the whole story with that ladyboy...:-)

Buddha

A long time ago during one of my first visits to Pattaya, I was with a girl who -all of a sudden- just ran away.
She was shouting ugly things at me in Thai, and I didn't understand anything of it. Not the language, and not the reason!

Only later, when I was reading and learning about Buddha, I understood why. I did some of the most stupid, ugly things you can do, and remembered the moment when she got angry. I pointed at something on her dress, with my feet.
She was so angry, I didn't even have the time to ask for an explanation.

Since I knew why, I've been reading several books about Bhuddism, trying to understand as good as possible all those things.

Even if you stay only in a short time here, or anywhere in SE Asia, it's a good thing to learn about the dos and donts in Thailand, a lot of this has to do with buddhism.

Before you can understand the Thai, you have to know a bit about stuff like The Four Noble Truths or The Noble Eightfold Path

Don't wanna know about it? Then, at least respect it.

I see a lot of people making the same stupid mistakes as the one I did.

Some statistics

When arriving in Thailand you have to fill in the immigration form. The information on these form are used by the TAT, Tourism Authority of Thailand.

Wanna know how many Russians, Germans or Japanese have visited Thailand last year?
Check it out here

2008 is not yet in the statistics, but Pattaya is soooo quiet these days (which is normal in August but not like this) that I am a little bit curious to see these statistics next year, and how higher prices will influence the number of visitors.

Decent food for less than 100 baht

I don't like T-bone. Not in Thailand at least; it is worthless (unless you pay double for something imported, and by the way, Thai will tell you: buffalo work rice field, not for eat... okay, that explains a lot). There are some good places in town, like Cafe New Orleans or Patrick's Restaurant if you don't mind paying a Western price.

I drink wine occasionally; Thai are real barbarians when it comes to wine (they might serve you a glass of wine like a coke: with ice cubes and a straw!), unless you stay in the North near Laos, Nong Kai, where some old colonial French influences crossed the border. A baguette and a glass of wine is all I need when I stay there.
If you wanna get a Thai drunk, it's easy: they might drink Thai whisky like water, but give them a glass of wine and in many cases it works like magic...:-)

I avoid the clamshell stuff, and I will avoid the raw salads in most places too if I suspect some dirty water might be used, because there is one good rule I follow: Cook it, peel it or boil it. Pattaya is pretty safe, but after countless hours on the toilet, I'm careful...

Maybe McDonalds or KFC might be safe, yes, but... I'm not a fast food lover. Pizza in Pattaya? The last place to go is Pizza hut: Thai girls look nice in a Pizza Hut costume, but that's about the only positive thing I can say: the pizza is not the same as you might expect in a US or European Pizza Hut. Better go somewhere else.

In general, I avoid all the western stuff, for 2 simple reasons:
1) they don't know about western food!
2) Thai food is excellent

So, what is left?
Well, you could find me in Tops (corner second/central road) or Carrefour supermarket (near third road). For less than 100 baht you can join a buffet. only Thai food of course. Clean, quick and delicious. Want it really spicy? Then eat with the Thai near the small market, somewhere in between these 2 names I mentioned.

For non-Thai however, I might visit the Hippo/Welcome Inn in soi 2 or the French restaurant Chez Bernard sometimes in soi 3 (they both have good wines too, and they also treat it the way it should be: in a cool environment).
Near walking street I like the new Pattaya Beer Garden, or maybe the Kiss place on second road (opposite Mike).
When in soi 7 I prefer the norwegian Olala restaurant. Not only the food is great, it's a nice lookout too... ;-)

Yep, I know this is a very personal opinion on food.