One for mama
One for the sponsor, working in Europe
One for the farang on holiday
and the last one for the real (Thai) boyfriend
Yes, it is important to keep things separated sometimes...
Monday, September 29, 2008
The importance of good communication for a bargirl
One for mama
One for the sponsor, working in Europe
One for the farang on holiday
and the last one for the real (Thai) boyfriend
Yes, it is important to keep things separated sometimes...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Riding the banana in Pattaya
If you arrived on this page by searching Google for the keywords "riding banana pattaya", I'm very sorry it is not what you were looking for, but this picture really is Pattaya...:-)
Thai bargirls don't like riding big bananas like this one (because a lot of them can't swim...)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Big boots
Ever wonder how these small girls - standing in front of the bars to lure customers inside - are able to walk with these boots?
Anyway, I like those big boots...:-)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Ping pong balls
In almost every Agogo bar you can buy those ping pong balls. For those who don't know:
you throw these balls in the middle of the stage to and all the girls will try to grab one and earn some extra baht.
Some like it, some hate it.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Krating Daeng or Red bull
It was a Thai invention originally, and these days you can still find it anywhere.
Good chances are there is a can in the mini-bar of your hotel. The name "Krating Daeng" is on the T-shirts with the Red Bull logo, but they pronounce it in another way, and it is written in Thai, in fact, it is the only Thai I can read...:-)
They have many different names now, just ask for "Lippo" when you're in a bar.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Having dinner at 3 in the morning
Thai eat all day long, even in middle of the night. But instead of Westerners they eat small portions.
If you stay with a Thai girl don't be surprised if she disappears in the middle of the night, telling you "me hungry". And if you want to try some Thai streetfood, you can do this 24 hours a day...
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
10 commandments of a bargirl
Don't know who invented this, but sometimes it is pretty close to reality:
1. Late week, specifically Friday and Saturday, many locally employed walking ATM machines will come to your bar. Choose carefully! Some have money, but others do not! If he is wearing a suit and tie, check that the tie is not a Pratunam special and check that he isn't wearing tennis shoes.
If either of these are in the affirmative, forget him because he is likely an English teacher, and they will give you peanuts _ that is if they give you anything at all.
2. No matter how fat and ugly he is, no matter how bad he may smell, no matter how drunk he is, make sure you always tell him how handsome he is. Sit close to him and run your hands over his body, arousing him.
As soon as he has paid the bar fine, you can stand clear of him. Even if he knows that you despise his ugly butt, he'll still pay you. The hard part is getting him to pay the bar, and as soon as you have done that, the rest is easy.
3. Start collecting email addresses from all of your customers. And once you have a good collection of addresses, a visit to your local Internet cafe is in order. All of those email addressees should be sent an email. Simply change the name on each email and send it off to all of the guys. If you can remember something specific about them, mention that in the email too.
These walking ATMs all have a soft heart, so you need to tell them a story to get them to send you some of their riches. Start with a sick buffalo and if he doesn't reply, next tell him that your mother is sick. As a last resort, if he still doesn't send any money, tell him you are pregnant and the baby is his!
4. Practice crying on cue. It is essential that you can produce tears immediately. This will have the effect of helping the walking ATM machine to see things your way!
5. When you get a customer for an extended period of time, make sure he takes you shopping, with rarn tong (gold shop) the best place to visit. Make sure he buys you gold and if he doesn't, see rule 4! As soon as he has left Thailand, take the gold back to the shop and sell it straight back to them, thus increasing your pay out.
6. When locally based farangs are inside the bars, do not speak in Thai with your friends in the bar but rather use Lao, Khmer or any other dialects that you may know.
It's bad enough that some of them can speak and even read Thai, but Lao and Khmer should be kept as sacrosanct. Under no circumstances should the farang be taught our regional dialects.
7. Always see him off at the airport. Thai currency cannot be used in his country, so it is highly likely that he will give you all of his leftover baht as he leaves and says goodbye.
While accompanying him to the airport, prevent him buying going-away gifts for his family and friends in his homeland. Which leaves more for you.
8. See Asian customers. They understand that we like to gamble, and they understand that we have lots of unemployed brothers and sisters who need to eat. Therefore, they pay a lot better than the farangs.
9. Remember, when you get paid, you must always ask for taxi money and give him the excuse that taxi drivers cannot give change on big notes. Don't let him see the small change in your wallet. If taxi money isn't forthcoming, see rule 4.
10. If you are no longer making money in Bangkok, move down to Phuket where you will be able to start making money again. Give Phuket a few years, then move on to Pattaya. Even if you are approaching 50, it is no problem as the walking ATM machines seem to be blind in Pattaya.
1. Late week, specifically Friday and Saturday, many locally employed walking ATM machines will come to your bar. Choose carefully! Some have money, but others do not! If he is wearing a suit and tie, check that the tie is not a Pratunam special and check that he isn't wearing tennis shoes.
If either of these are in the affirmative, forget him because he is likely an English teacher, and they will give you peanuts _ that is if they give you anything at all.
2. No matter how fat and ugly he is, no matter how bad he may smell, no matter how drunk he is, make sure you always tell him how handsome he is. Sit close to him and run your hands over his body, arousing him.
As soon as he has paid the bar fine, you can stand clear of him. Even if he knows that you despise his ugly butt, he'll still pay you. The hard part is getting him to pay the bar, and as soon as you have done that, the rest is easy.
3. Start collecting email addresses from all of your customers. And once you have a good collection of addresses, a visit to your local Internet cafe is in order. All of those email addressees should be sent an email. Simply change the name on each email and send it off to all of the guys. If you can remember something specific about them, mention that in the email too.
These walking ATMs all have a soft heart, so you need to tell them a story to get them to send you some of their riches. Start with a sick buffalo and if he doesn't reply, next tell him that your mother is sick. As a last resort, if he still doesn't send any money, tell him you are pregnant and the baby is his!
4. Practice crying on cue. It is essential that you can produce tears immediately. This will have the effect of helping the walking ATM machine to see things your way!
5. When you get a customer for an extended period of time, make sure he takes you shopping, with rarn tong (gold shop) the best place to visit. Make sure he buys you gold and if he doesn't, see rule 4! As soon as he has left Thailand, take the gold back to the shop and sell it straight back to them, thus increasing your pay out.
6. When locally based farangs are inside the bars, do not speak in Thai with your friends in the bar but rather use Lao, Khmer or any other dialects that you may know.
It's bad enough that some of them can speak and even read Thai, but Lao and Khmer should be kept as sacrosanct. Under no circumstances should the farang be taught our regional dialects.
7. Always see him off at the airport. Thai currency cannot be used in his country, so it is highly likely that he will give you all of his leftover baht as he leaves and says goodbye.
While accompanying him to the airport, prevent him buying going-away gifts for his family and friends in his homeland. Which leaves more for you.
8. See Asian customers. They understand that we like to gamble, and they understand that we have lots of unemployed brothers and sisters who need to eat. Therefore, they pay a lot better than the farangs.
9. Remember, when you get paid, you must always ask for taxi money and give him the excuse that taxi drivers cannot give change on big notes. Don't let him see the small change in your wallet. If taxi money isn't forthcoming, see rule 4.
10. If you are no longer making money in Bangkok, move down to Phuket where you will be able to start making money again. Give Phuket a few years, then move on to Pattaya. Even if you are approaching 50, it is no problem as the walking ATM machines seem to be blind in Pattaya.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Political problems? it's only for joking...
Maybe you could ask: should I go to the Land of Smile or not, with all those problems in Bangkok?
Well, yes, of course you should!
In Pattaya everything goes on as usual, and I usually don't talk about political problems but when asking a bargirl about her opinion she simply answered: "Only for joking. you want one more Singha?"
Friday, September 5, 2008
Karaoke
Karaoke is not that very popular in Pattaya, but there are a few places however like SBI Superstar.
But Pattaya wouldn't be Pattaya, if some girls are not only there to help you sing...
By the way, "sing a song" sometimes has a very different meaning here...:-)
But Pattaya wouldn't be Pattaya, if some girls are not only there to help you sing...
By the way, "sing a song" sometimes has a very different meaning here...:-)
Monday, September 1, 2008
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